In the new video Far & Wide (one of three planned for release) Otautahi-based artist Sally Stockwell bursts through the front door, rushes down the driveway and doesn’t stop running until she reaches the sea. The camera pans back to her two cherub angels deliberately spilling milk on the kitchen floor and jumping about on the best couches. Is she running away? Escaping the little brats? Rejecting responsibility? All parents feel like this sometimes.

“Don’t think I’m abandoning you when I run in the night, to the sea”, she sings to her children,

“It’s just the way that it works when it’s all been famine for family / Don’t think I’m abandoning you when I run at the storm and it gathers me / I’ll see you in the morning, it’ll be right child, it’ll be alright”

Both the music and the video have a dark, brooding, almost desperate thread. Indeed the song is a statement, giving all parents' permission to feel like this sometimes. Effectively saying ‘I love you, even though you drive me mad. Sometimes I just need a little space. Metaphorically, I’m running away.”

“It’s about needing to escape from the inner turmoil and conflict of being a parent,” Stockwell says in her publicity, “struggling with the demands of motherhood and escaping to find self-preservation,”

That is the theme of this album - wanting independence and identity away from her children - yet dealing with the guilt and the fear of looking like a bad or selfish parent by somehow abandoning them. Love, especially for family, will do that to you.

The opening track also has a touch of drama and 80’s Gothic about it. Her voice is a mix of Siouxie Sioux, Reb Fountain and a smidge of Patty Smith.

That’s no surprise when you realize who she is. Sally Stockwell has been in the music and acting game for three decades working across big and little screens, stage, radio and music. She has, in the past turned to music, to deal with difficult life challenges.2015’s Weightless album was an honest, vulnerable and deeply personal work, following the death of her brother, Ben.

Almost 10 years’ on, whilst balancing a theatrical career and motherhood Stockwell returns to the studio with Little Triggers, which she calls “a bold (and dare I say brutally honest) exploration of the joys and challenges of being a parent.” The album connects with her solo theatre/gig show We’ve Got So Much To Talk About, which toured the motu in 2023.

We all know it takes a village to raise a child, but raising a family these days is a more solitary task. Not unlike it was in the 60’s when men went off to work leaving mothers home alone with their children. For parents, isolation can be the enemy. “I don’t see no one else here to help today,” she sings in the appropriately titled Village, “I don’t see no one else here / Guilt tripping through my veins / I got guilt tripping through my veins / Why do I have / Guilt tripping through my veins, what is this / Guilt / Where has my village gone?” Clearly under pressure for feeling overwhelmed. Not an uncommon feeling, especially for new mothers.

You can definitely hear a touch of the alt-pop musical in these songs, particularly Pin It Down, which begins with Stockwell’s voice overlaid multiple times in a repeating series of notes, which remind me of Laurie Anderson’s work on Big Science. This is one place where Eden Mulholland’s superb production comes into play (the album was recorded at Tamaki Makaurau’s The Oven/Lab Recording Studio). I’ve long admired his work with ballet companies and dance troupes and events like Wearable World of Arts. He knows how to make the music its own actor on the stage.

Happy in My Skin is directed at her children. I don’t think she’s blaming them, but an apology is required for the reason for her self-loathing and guilt for it (something many parents suffer from at times). “I want to be steady / I want to be ready to welcome it / Oh, to be happy in my skin / There’s no doubting / My love for you it far outweighs any cost / And every atom of my heart / Is beating and spinning for you.”

On Sherry & Valium she finally gives in to the cliche – there’s a reason for wine o’clock. “Swallowed up by motherhood? / I understand the 70's phenomenon / I understand the sherry and Valium / Oh, mother help me / Benzo me down into a dream. Irony is a 11 on the dial.

The most grungy track moves on a raft of contorted guitar riffs, Stockwell’s vocals blurred in a haze of dirty distortion. On We’ve Got So Much To Talk About, Stockwell takes on the patriarchy and she’s mad. She wants to clear the way for her daughters. So that they don’t have to go through all the sh*t her generation of women and all those before have been through.“ We have feared for our lives for centuries / In dark alleys late at night within citadels long forgotten / Yet we still walk home in the dark alone wondering if we’ll make it / Alleys built by our brothers, but the sisters walk alone.”

And here, it feels like she’s talking directly to the MAGA cult, the sexists, the bigots and the whole patriarchal hegemony “Your shadow still likes the dark / Your shadow still wants it all / Your shadow still likes the dark / It wants the power / We’ve written out of the books but we still have our voices / And our daughters need to know that/ The balance undone.” Even without the music, this is poetry with intense power.

Uncovering Me brings the most clearly obvious musical track. With marching timpani beat you can imagine dancers stomping in a tribal rhythm behind the singer as she calls out “Come to me darkness / Come to me visions, only you / offer my way through / To keep the golden tethers spinning around / Catch the symbol that keeps me anchored down / This is it, I’m growing towards the sun / Oh this is it, more than a little bit golden.”

The cabaret drama on Little Hours also has a touch of the torch song about it, like the way Over The Rhine does it. The lines hint at claiming adulthood, friends coming over to enjoy time, when the kids are in bed. “Been trying to anticipate that feeling that rushes in so unannounced and Ieaves me reeling.” Or a discomfort for being selfish? “The uninvited guest is here, go on and feed them”. Is the guest real? A friend. A child’s friend. Or guilt of some kind. Whatever, put those feelings aside. “Kick off the shoes get the records on and dance the blues, yeah, we can pick all the tunes.” I love the ambiguity in these lines. The lyrics seem positive but the music brooding and cautionary. It builds up to a bombastic 60’s Bond/Shirley McLean style groove that slaps you around in a perfect juxtaposition.

Listening to this album is empowering and challenging. It’s about parenthood and adulthood. The two can co-exist. Parents shouldn’t feel guilty for pursuing their dreams within the whanau experience. There are times separation is required. Stockwell acknowledges all of that on this 11-track genre-blending, indie-alt-pop set, drawing her seasoned experience across theatre, songwriting and performance. The music is powerful, sometimes haunting, sometimes gritty, but also hugely dynamic and full of drama. The perfect way to navigate a complicated subject matter.

Little Triggers drops on November 22, 2024, accompanied by a trilogy of music videos directed by good friend Jacqueline Nairn, with additional collaboration from David Paul (DOP).

• 1
  Head Like A Hole
• 2
  Horror Story
• 3
  Fraser Ross
• 4
  Fur Patrol
• 5
  Michelle Rounds
• 6
  L.A.B.
• 7
  Devilskin
• 8
  Coridian
• 9
  The Boondocks
• 10
  Late to Chelsea

• 
  LOST BiRD @ Space Academy, Christchurch - 15/12/2024
• 
  Just Janie @ Space Academy, Christchurch - 15/12/2024
• 
  Dream Chambers @ Meow Nui, Wellington - 14/12/2024
• 
  The Phoenix Foundation @ Meow Nui, Wellington - 14/12/2024

• 1
  APT.
  ROSÉ And Bruno Mars
• 2
  DIE WITH A SMILE
  Lady Gaga And Bruno Mars
• 3
  BIRDS OF A FEATHER
  Billie Eilish
• 4
  TASTE
  Sabrina Carpenter
• 5
  I LOVE YOU, I'M SORRY
  Gracie Abrams
• 6
  ESPRESSO
  Sabrina Carpenter
• 7
  SAILOR SONG
  Gigi Perez
• 8
  LOSE CONTROL
  Teddy Swims
• 9
  A BAR SONG (TIPSY)
  Shaboozey
• 10
  GOOD LUCK, BABE!
  Chappell Roan

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