Now, I'm just going to get this out of the way right at the start: I know these guys, their guitarist Troy is a really good mate of mine, and I used to share a house with their frontman/bassist Andy - in fact, when he first started talking about a new band he wanted to put together, back in 2019. Two years later, Narcotic Tonsils erupted into being, and swiftly became my favourite Christchurch band (apart from the ones I'm in myself, obviously). Narcotic Tonsils are the very embodiment of a Punk band, raw, loud, snarky, unapologetic raucous and chaotic. I've been eagerly awaiting the arrival of this album, having heard all about it from start to finish.

If you choose to access You'll Get What You're Given through their Bandcamp page, you can also handily check out the lyrics to all eleven of the tracks. Speaking of the tracks, let's talk about album opener, Fat, Forty & Fucked. Balls to the wall, crusty crusty Punk with all the subtlety of a knuckle duster. This has always been one of my favourite Narcotic Tonsils' songs. I mean, it helps that it's so uncomfortably relatable. Sure, he's hit middle age, but he's buggered if he's going to be happy about it, and he's not going down without a fight. Punkenstein's main riff sounds dredged up from the bottom of the Dead Sea. A shout out to all the GCs, and a call out to posers. If I had my druthers, this would be the opener of every one of their live sets. Aggressive, bolshy, and downright mean.

True Punk madness infuses Be My Gimp. This song powers along, sweating sexiness from every pore, all over your ears. Troy has a knack for delivering guitar solos that perfectly fit the songs they're in. Sweaty Leathers is an absolute banger, one of my live favourites, and as grimy as a biker's gusset. Slower paced, as befitting as a CrustPunk love song. The low, guttural bass is so filthy, I had to clean my ears 17 times just listening to this song. Next up is Mister Titchy, an ode to a former neighbour, who by all accounts is a total arsehead. High energy, angry, and abusive, "Mr. Titchy lives next door, Mr. Titchy's on the phone to the law, Mr. Titchy is shit out of luck, Mr. Titchy can go get fucked", yeah, get fucked Graham. I'm glad I don't live next to a twonk like Graham. This song also has the most monstrous bass tone, it's awesome.

P Lab is a grotty exposé of one of the seedier sides of life, lyrically throwing a solid uppercut to the chin of this particular societal scourge, musically fast, snotty, and raging. Drummer "Potato" takes on the vocals on Bashing The Bishop, written about New Zealand's most despicable religious charlatan, a Mr. B Tamaki. This song is heavier than forty double decker busloads of overweight elephants, this riff will punch your kidneys out through your spine. The Narcotics lads could be said to have strayed into Metal territory with this one, but I think that's never a bad thing.

The lead single from the album is Guttersnipe, and it's stylistically quite different to the others, whilst still emphatically being Narcotic Tonsils. A more melodic offering, from the pen of guitarist Troy, Guttersnipe is a lament to a lost situation, overtop a conversely happy-sounding bit of riffing, with a nice chaotic ending. Brain Drain has a riff that's as Punk as you like, this is exactly the sort of thing that comes to my mind when I think "Punk". The Brain Drain in question is one of those people who's a real energy vulture, you know the type, the type who also takes your stuff if they can, bludging and leeching.

Hamwoe comes from a Facebook exchange, with a particular individual having a rant about, among other things, not having ham in his sandwiches. This led to the suggestion that he has "ham woe", and this song is a reaction to him and cretins like him, suitably bombastic and thundering. Final track Bad Girl is heavy, sludgy, and meaty, and the first verse lyrics make the subject sound like possibly the very worst girl ever, the most impossibly, outrageously evil bad girl. The second verse backs that up, she's summoned Satan to go get her groceries... for the second time this week!! After another slinky Troy Thomas solo, it goes nice and Sabbath-y until the end.

As well as Bandcamp, You'll Get What You're Given is available on Spotify and Apple Music, and physical copies are available by contacting the band through their Facebook or Instagram pages. Get it up ya!

• 1
  Head Like A Hole
• 2
  Horror Story
• 3
  Fraser Ross
• 4
  Fur Patrol
• 5
  Michelle Rounds
• 6
  L.A.B.
• 7
  Devilskin
• 8
  Coridian
• 9
  The Boondocks
• 10
  Late to Chelsea

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• 1
  APT.
  ROSÉ And Bruno Mars
• 2
  DIE WITH A SMILE
  Lady Gaga And Bruno Mars
• 3
  BIRDS OF A FEATHER
  Billie Eilish
• 4
  TASTE
  Sabrina Carpenter
• 5
  I LOVE YOU, I'M SORRY
  Gracie Abrams
• 6
  ESPRESSO
  Sabrina Carpenter
• 7
  SAILOR SONG
  Gigi Perez
• 8
  LOSE CONTROL
  Teddy Swims
• 9
  A BAR SONG (TIPSY)
  Shaboozey
• 10
  GOOD LUCK, BABE!
  Chappell Roan

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