El Schlong gets book mention
Posted: Tue Mar 6, 2012 8:33 am

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The complete book “FORTRESS EUROPE (The Big Shiny Prison Vol. II) ” is now online as a FREE PDF download!!

10 years in the making, “FORTRESS EUROPE” is the long promised beast of nonfiction journalism from underground USA journalist Ryan Bartek.

Clocking in at 222 pages, this career defining & genre bending work details the author's travels throughout the European Underground in Summer 2011.

Refuting every stereotype of traditional journalism, “FORTRESS EUROPE” combines the classic autobiographical road novel with the current state of European Counterculture. The result is an odyssey of monumental scope featuring face-to-face interviews with a number of legends in extreme metal, hardcore punk, industrial, experimental, psychedelic & good old rock n' roll.

Appearances include Laibach, Wolfbrigade, Rotting Christ, Killing Joke, Funeral Winds, Enochian Crescent, Moonsorrow, Fondlecorpse, Defeated Sanity, First Blood, Hello Bastards, Armed Response Unit, Melting Walkmen, Abortion, Panthiest, CNK, Arkangel, HATE, Repulsione, Dehuman, Dickless Tracy, General Surgery, Grind The Enemy, Fides Inversa, Excavated, Terri Bomb, Flowers of Flesh & Blood, Knuckledust, Chiens, Vanguard, Splitter, Pyramido, Fen, Black Breath, Ingurgitating Oblivion, Scavenger Brats, El Schlong, Spacemen 3 & legendary Detroit writer/60's radical Mr. John Sinclair.

“FORTRESS EUROPE” also includes a bonus section featuring commentary by members of Brutal Truth, Master, Agathocles, Battlelore, Corpus Christii, Manzer, Seita, Cruadalach, Livstid, Nahemah, Der Blutharsch, Mincing Fury & Primordial.

Free PDF Download: http://www.mediafire.com/?66fd1q6ptddhj2g

Critic Article, issue 18 2006
Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 9:45 pm

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El Schlong: Return to Dunedin for One Show Only!

This Saturday, El Schlong, a gosh-darn heavy ‘Dunedin band based in Wellington’, will reappear for their annual homecoming gig. After gestating on our local gig circuit for a few years, the band were bloodily extracted from their hometown womb and planted, double bass kicking and screaming, onto the vibrant Wellington metal scene nigh-on two years ago. They list among their influences “inventive insults,” “P addicts,” and “sluts with pert tits.”

Named after an old flatmate who was “a cock – but not really. It was the most censored name we could come up with,” El Schlong initially stood out for guitarist Leah’s quirky boing-metal riffs that bounced down the fretboard into power-chord choruses, and singer Jake’s ability to articulate every word above the crappy PA systems and the crowd’s din. They wowed audiences with misanthropic ode ‘Boredom’ and my personal favourite, ‘Two and a Half Dalis’ – a true story about feeling like a computer and experiencing revelation, overload and meltdown. Back then Leah, despite being not only the band’s songwriter but also one of the best guitar players in Dunedin, insisted on wearing a ‘Girls Can’t Play Guitar’ T-shirt on stage, while Jake chanted “Kill all the Christians” and bassist Baldy stood back in the driver’s seat.

Since leaving Dunedin, the group released their debut E.P Loudious Deepthroatus late last year, along with a music vid for ‘The Grind’. The video features giant cartoon insects roaming over footage of the band on stage, interspersed with computer-generated clips of Nitrous Oxide canisters miraculously dispensing themselves.

According to Leah, the band are looking forward to taking a wee break from the Wellington ‘scene’ to indulge in a bit of good old-fashioned Dunedin revelry:

“Fuck, there’s probably 50 metal bands up here, going through all the different subgenres. In Dunedin we’d have all these mixed genre gigs with whoever was around, and if we wanted to play with some metal bands we’d bring ‘em up from Invercargill, whereas up here we’ve found we’re being put in all-metal gigs. It’s cool, but what I do miss about Dunedin is the fact that because there’s so few bands and everyone knows each other, you know all the bands and all the muzos and you play together, genre be damned.”

Last time they hit Dunedin, the band had a new drummer, a 15-year old prodigy with a gazillion cymbals who hit a lot of drums, all the time. They now have an even newer drummer, Jordan, who can often be seen busking with his full kit (and some cow-bells) on Manners Mall in Wellington, “to pay his bills.” This means he practices in public for hours at a time – “It’s really good advertising. I stuffed an El Schlong sticker on the front of his kick drum so that people know that he’s ours.”

El Schlong are looking to head to London in a couple of years time, once Baldy the bassist finishes his degree in ‘Sonic Art’. Which means your chances to see them are now few and far between. They won’t be playing any of their old material when they hit town this time – apparently the new stuff is more ‘tech’ with lots of time changes, and vocals that cut between singing and screaming at the drop of a chord. They’ll also be cracking out a brand new track, ‘Marvin Nevilleson’s Plastic Sheets’, which Leah describes as a mix of disco and metal, about a “socially incompetent bedwetter.”

El Schlong play Refuel, Saturday August 12, w/ Christpuncher and Incarnate.

El Schlong return to Dunedin
Posted: Sun Aug 6, 2006 6:47 pm

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Come one, come all. El Schlong is stoked to be coming home to play again. Last year we got 399 people through the door, and it would be wicked to see you all back again this time. We have a new drummer (Jordan) and many new ditties including our current favourite "Marvin Nevilleson's Plastic Bizarro Sheets", which you can view on our myspace page (www.myspace.com/elschlong). Details are:

El Schlong, Ravenous, Christpuncher, and Incarnate.
Saturday the 12th of August at Refuel
Bands start at 10pm and entry is $5 or $3 for students with ID

Word.

the last gig in dunnz @ the arc on the 8 o' jan
Posted: Sun Jan 2, 2005 1:49 am

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oh whAT will i doo when im in southland and want some mean metal what eva will i do ??? oh no !!