Arthur R Nevilleson-Robertson-Brown

(Music by Leah Hinton, Nick Baldwin and Jordan Tredray, lyrics by Leah Hinton 2007)

Let me introduce myself. My name is Arthur R. Nevilleson-Robertson-Brown. I awoke to rain. Slightly more than delicate, like mince sizzling on the roof. I rose stiffly and reached for my robe. My feet searched for my slippers and encountered the cold grip of ........... slipperlessness. The thought of my slippers not being in their usual place was as harsh and unforgiving as the shock of the cold floor. Was I out of my mind when I retired last night..........? No. My feet brushed tartan and leapt in. Catastrophe averted, my paralyzing fear subsided, and my day began. I minced through to the parlour and drew the blinds. I reeled back in horror at the sight that violated my eyes..........Dust. Dust, my old nemesis, we meet again. And every
time we meet I am older and weaker, and you appear as relentlessly dusty as the first time my infant eyes rested upon your foul form.

The rain is falling down
An old friend popping round

Feather duster
Wrists, don't fail me
Eradicate malevolent particles

Calm yourself Arthur. I swished triumphantly out of the parlour and into the kitchen. The linoleum sparkled beneath my feet as I began pondering the tea ahead. My first step.............the vessel. I warmed a fine bone china cup upon a saucer, admiring its delicate floral design. Filling the kettle proved difficult for reasons I do not wish to disclose. The water started to move and then bubble like my anticipation. It began............to whistle. I place the bag in the cup and let the water gush over it. It caressed and fondled the bag like a gentle lover, drawing out its................. frondulously fine flavour. I administered the one-minute stir then waited. At exactly
five minutes I extracted the bag and watched the milk swirl like a miniature galaxy in a cup. I swooned and lifted the nectar to my trembling lips...........................

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