Feel The Width

Don't talk to me about quality
Don't talk to me about strength
Don't talk to me about endurance honey
Don't even mention length
Forget your thesis on technique baby
There's something better than that
I've got a friend who'd like to meet you
A friend who's short and fat
Feel the width..

There are people who think love's a flower
Who think that love's a rose
I've known people who relinquished power
Who tipped upon their toes
With poetry and lots of pussy footing
It all seemed pretty flat
Compared to time spent with my special person
The one who's short and fat
Feel the width..

Some people like to ride on reputations
Some people ride on tips of tongues
Some people do things with their little fingers
Some people use their gums
Ain't got no truck with all that fancy lickin'
Ain't got no interest in that
I got one mood - it's horizontal
A friend who's short and fat
Feel the width..

There's folks who read books on how to do it
Attach things to their shlongs
There's folks who wonder if they might be frigid
Or what they're doing wrong
Well I can guarantee satisfaction
There ain't no doubt about that
Just spend two minutes with my friend 'Old Thruster'
The one who's short and fat
Feel the width

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