Scab Made Out of Faeces

Let me tell you about
This week's casserole.
It really fills that hole.
Oh but the taste
Is like human waste and I
Wish I'd never been born at all.

Let me tell you about
My relationship with Nicole.
I really fill her hole.
Oh but her face
Is like something else and so
When I bring a condom
I pack a paper bag as well.

A scab made out of faeces
Can really stop the bleeding.
Oh but the smell
Is a kind of rotting hell and you
Wish you'd never thought of the idea at all.

Let me tell you about
This week's casserole.
It's like a scab made out of faeces.
Scab made out of faeces.
It really fills that hole.
Oh but the taste
Is like used toothpaste on mouldy bread so I
Open a can of dog food instead.

Let me tell you about
My relationship with Nicole.
I'm like a scab made out of faeces.
Scab made out of faeces.
I really fill her hole.
Oh but her body
Is like a giant lump of porridge so I
Close my eyes and think of Mary Elizabeth Winstead instead.

A scab made out of faeces
Is a ridiculous idea,
But if you're ever out in the woods
And get mauled by a bear,
Just take a shit and smear it
On that stump where your arm was before.
And you'll live happily ever more,
But you might need some deodorant.

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