RE: the "guilty pleasure" thread
Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 10:23 am

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Oh god, there we go again... everybody needs to cry for whatever reason from time to time. This societal pressure to suck in your emotions and look staunch is half the reason people are downright miserable inside. Some people are totally dead inside because they perceive crying or venting their sad feelings as a weakness.

There's no such thing as a real man, or a real woman. We all look for something different in a partner (I don't have ideals, or a set vision of the ideal girl, that's just stupid - you just know when you meet them).

And you can't stop what people think about in their heads. I imagine doing the filthiest things sometimes, but it's all internal, no action, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's only wrong when people act on those thoughts. Fantasy is just that, best kept in yer head. Of course girls are gonna get insecure when they realise that ALL men are constantly checking chicks out, and the reverse is also true, but when you're in a relationship you have to realise that both people are still individuals with their own desires - sometimes they're desires we cannot block out.

Guys will go, "oh, I don't do that" when their girl is in the room, but I can guarantee every guy that you know (your b/f, brother, dad, uncle, boss, whatever), somewhere, today, will check out a girl and go off into a place in their head where she is naked and bent over a couch, albiet very briefly. Any man who says they don't have these thoughts is either homosexual or lying to protect their dignity... or a man of strong religious conviction (which I class as a form of denial and repression).

This message was edited by K.I.N.G on Tue Aug 12, 2008 10:25 am.

RE: the "guilty pleasure" thread
Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 12:32 pm

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i don't think theres anything wrong with a guy crying ocasionally. all the time would piss anyone off. but everyone needs a lil release from time to time.
and as for checking out other chicks yeah we all do its a guy thing. sorry. but i am a hypocrit coz i do get shitty when i see another guy checking out my girlfrind.

RE: the "guilty pleasure" thread
Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 12:35 pm

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I didn't suggest you are insecure, but I find it amusing when people get defensive at the suggestion, as if insecurity is a character flaw - we're all insecure about something whether we know it or not; I'm insecure about many things myself.



Doesn't bother me one iota. We are all sexual beings and we are free in our own heads to go where we wish.

RE: the "guilty pleasure" thread
Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 1:25 pm

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Not really... I mean, I'll put it this way... if she's thinking about cock then all good, it means that a) she has a libido, and b) she might be thinking about other men, but she's picked ME, she goes to bed with ME, she cries on MY shoulder when she's down, she's picked ME to be her life partner, above all other men on the planet.

Insecurities, in my experience, either stem from childhood incidents or upbringing, and being burnt in other situations throughout life. For example, my mother was always picking apart my school work... now I'm never happy with anything I ever do, because I don't feel it's good enough, even though other people think my work is great. Another is people who are insecure about their partner cheating on them, beceause it's happened in the past to them and the idea of it happening again is just terrifying. But that's all part of the game, working against those problems and coming out stronger as a result.

Human behaviour is fascinating... I'm in the wrong profession!

RE: the "guilty pleasure" thread
Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 3:09 pm

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Guys put the pressure on? I blame the magazines who publish this drivel. I blame the glossy bloke mags like FHM who have created an unrealistic look. I blame the blokes who buy it. I blame the trash mags who make a big deal out of apperances, and mostly, I blame the WOMEN who buy it! Just 5 minutes ago I saw a sales rep at work in the cafe oggling a centrespread about makeup.

As for porn... there's a HUUUUUGE market out there for "normal" girls these days, that's why amateur porn is so popular. Yes, *regular* porn sets unrealistic expectations, I agree... but again, it's just fantasy. Guys who live by these stereotypes are total dicks and are to be avoided at all costs.

RE: the "guilty pleasure" thread
Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 4:50 pm

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As long as I've been alive, I've never seen men put pressure on women to look a certain way. It's ALL of society, not just men.

Men are to blame for a lot of our problems, but I don't think they're soley responsible for this epidemic of image obsession.

Nine times out of ten, I've found, women are more worried what their female companions think about their figure, hair or makeup than the guys they're supposedly trying to impress..



No, just a lot of men, not me. And like I said before, they're not worth giving the time of day - aaaaaaand if women get obsessed over how they look to impress this particular group of men, then they're as stupid as the women who buy NW, Women's Day and Cleo, and deserve to end up with Joe Knuckle-dragger Smith who only wants them for their body.

This message was edited by K.I.N.G on Tue Aug 12, 2008 4:51 pm.

RE: the "guilty pleasure" thread
Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 5:45 pm

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Heh, my missus and her friend were talking about the same thing the other day, about how growing up, it was always the other girls making them feel bad for not looking like them, not the guys.

And one thing I've noticed from 12 years in the workforce, and three decades of watching people in a social capacity, school etc... 95% of the time it's the girls talking about the girl that's "too fat" behind her back when she leaves the room. The reverse often happens too - the overweight girl who hates the "skinny b*tch" simply because she's thin - (some girls are just naturally tiny and I think that irks a lot of people).

Our hormonal differences given to us by nature certainly makes relationships interesting Yet it fascinates me no-end.

RE: the "guilty pleasure" thread
Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 11:11 pm

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wow guys. im glad you got so into it. wasn't exactly what i had intended when i made this thread but im all for constructive debates. i have been going out with my grl for almost four years now and its good to see that other people experience the similar stuff as to what ive experienced. clownie you started buy saying

why is this a guilty pleasure for you?? do you enjoy that another guy is checking you out or do you enjoy that your boyfriend gets sh!tty bout it?
i like it when my girl shows me her anger and insecurities when the same thing happens coz i enjoy feeling that she still cares bout me and feels the need to get upset bout it. im one of those guys that likes feeling needed.
its messed up coz im sure she doesnt like getting upset like that. i know i don't.

RE: the "guilty pleasure" thread
Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 10:05 am

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Heh, yeah sorry about getting so off-topic, I just can't resist a good discussion (while we don't always agree Clownie, the conversation is engaging and interesting, and I always welcome stimulating conversation).

That brings me to another guilty pleasure... my g/f likes it too - sitting a a bus depot or airport, just watching people.

RE: the "guilty pleasure" thread
Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 10:26 am

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Yeah what's up with that? I've heard the same for guys too.

A co-worker of mine has a "hot army guy" boyfriend, and chicks are ALWAYS flirting with him, even when she's around. Makes her a bit nervous I think.

More "opportunities" have been presented to me when I have a g/f... I can't figure it out. Being in a band for a while had a lot to do with it - an ugly f*ck like me gets approched by girls just because I weild a guitar and yell at people. REALLY hot girls, girls who would have been "out of my league" normally, girls who wouldn't even glance at me. Probably further reinforcing that confidence is an attractive trait (not that I'm very confident, but I guess I at least come across as that... offstage I just wanted to be left alone)

RE: the "guilty pleasure" thread
Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 3:07 pm

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well when i was singal and i tried making moves on gals as soon as i found out the were taken id back right the fuck off. a) i hate would hate to be the guy cutting some1 elses grass, not fucking cool! and b) if the girl was flirting back to begin with it obviously means that shes a hoe and commitment is an important thing in my book. once i was hooking up with a girl at a freinds gathering then a friend of mine told me she had a bf, i seriously told her to get f*cked and left the party.

i love girls and tend to get on with them way better than guys but as friends. i have high morals i guess.



yup totally agreed. maybe its coz when we are in a relationship we aren't looking for one so when we are talking to gals we are more calm/aproachable/confident coz we don't want anything from them and they read it as atractive qualities???
need a girls point of view on that one. clownie?

RE: the "guilty pleasure" thread
Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 4:58 pm

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i find that to be quite rediculous. if a chick doesn't show intrest guy is like 'oh well, move on' but thats just me. no point wasting time on something thats not gonna produce any results.

RE: the "guilty pleasure" thread
Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 6:38 pm

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combination of all three i'd say. guys tend to be jerks, which is why i get on with grls better. on behalf of all guys everywhere i offer u my apologies.

what i'd sugest you do is that right at the beginning be clear and use simple english to tell them they have no chance and you don't mind being friends with em. if they persist just drop them straight away. no point in thinking they will 'come around' coz they won't. cut them off quick before the problem grows.



on a totally unrelated subject, another guilty pleasure of mine is the steriotypical metal head band shirt. i have so many of them. apart from fancy dress, going out (clubing etc) and singlets it seems that all my shirts are band shirts. i love representing my camp!! and i love it when ocasionally a stranger yells at me "F*CKIN SLAYER" or "YEAH MOTORHEAD ARE THE SH!T!!!!)

RE: the "guilty pleasure" thread
Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 7:02 pm

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Yeah I kinda like that too

RE: the "guilty pleasure" thread
Posted: Fri Aug 15, 2008 2:45 am

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Guten Tag! Hello - Good Morning, from Frankfurt, Germany.
Great Convo Guys - Sorry if I started anything tho... But Really like your perspectives, and could comment on so much, but you would then be reading a novel n Breakfast is nearly over..
Yeah I am a BIG... band T.Shirt Junkie too.
Even more so now I travelling allot - ie. I had a NZ Music Month Tee that I was wearing at a train station in Amsterdam - and this guy just walked up to me and said - wow it's good to see another Kiwi... it's like seeing ya best mate you have never met.
Again I was at Glastonbury Festival in June this year, I was wearing a 8ft Sativa shirt and Joan Armatrading came up to me and said" Hey like your top babe - who are they". So had to explain,worked out it's probably not her sound lol !!!

Guilty Pleasure..
Putting Kiwi'ana on everything...
Packing my man's bags full of NZ band tops before he goes away, I get a real kick out of blatant NZ Music Promotion, but it works... Got Howard Jones / lead singer for Killswitch Engage into a Blindspott Tee after a gig and he kept it... heheh

RE: the "guilty pleasure" thread
Posted: Fri Aug 15, 2008 10:21 am

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Guten Tag BxXx!

I have a good friend in Bavaria who lived with me in NZ last year for a few months... I'm hoping to get to Germany in the next 2/3 years.

Best beer in the world. Ever!

RE: the "guilty pleasure" thread
Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 4:33 am

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Great Place Bavaria.. definatley recommend a visit. Interesting culture and food there boarding with Austria & Czech Rep. You have to like sasuage.. hahah
Germany I strongley suggest - at least once a lifetime - really awakening experience, and germans can drink and party I tell ya, good folk.. i am a senior corporate manager for one of the largest companies in Germany owned by the Duche' Bahn/German Rail.. but work out of Melbourne, Oz.
Currently travelling with my man at the mo tho - roading for 4 weeks with 67 other roadies, and never want to return to an office
Been to Finland,Sweden,Norway, Hamburg, Austria, then to Berlin,zurich & finish in Coburg,Germany and I go home..

Guilty Pleasure: I Drink 'Becks' just because it's short for my name and get a buzz watching a hunky hot muszo gulp down a cold- wet 'Becks',it creates a lil weird shivering thrill hahah and my man laugh's his ass off when he catch's me infatuated by the experience.. and brings me a tequilla or Ouzo shot to snap me back to reality. hahah


This message was edited by BxXx on Sat Aug 16, 2008 4:40 am.

RE: the "guilty pleasure" thread
Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 2:10 pm

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Aye, there were a lot of pork products consumed while he lived here that's for sure.

Got my nick-name from him too... he'd call me Kine (Bavarian for King, my last name).

My ancestry is Germanic so I'm defaintely keen to get over there.

Hahaha, having a good beer with your name on it ain't a bad thing at all

RE: the "guilty pleasure" thread
Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 5:09 pm

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Yea lott of weird meat-ish products, but that ain't my bag baby.. But makes sence for the lifestyle they live and work they use to do in the old times.

I really like the name Kine, would go well as a first name.

Look I love travelling and seeing different places - but I really miss NZ. Yes the majority of my friends and family are there - but I miss the place more.. I miss how you can have the hot hot northlands, and the wet southlands, mountains, forests, desert's/desert rd etc, beaches and the list goes on.. allot of countries - specialise on one sort of feature - but the mix in NZ is worth noting and can very be easily over-looked when it is right under your nose... I know I did it for 20 or so years...
In saying all that - being away and seeing all the different has places probably made me realise what we had...

Guilty Pleasure: Dip. It is a complete obsession, I would rather sit down and snack on small different foods rather than a whole meal of 4 things maybe.. and creating random sandwitch mixture's as well, ie. grated carrot, coconut, raisins and cheese. hahah lol YUM...

RE: the "guilty pleasure" thread
Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 12:49 am

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(joins in) my grandmas german and i like the german people in genral, their culture, food and obviously THEIR METAL. i wanna kick myself everytime i think of wacken!! damn i wish i was fortunate enough to be there this year!



im a huge finger-food whore! guilty!!!